Survival Guide - Pick Your Party

So I thought it was about time that I put up another survival guide to let you know how to pick your friends for when you're in a haunted house, horror movie, on an alien planet, being invaded by aliens, or in another world/realm. This is one of the more complex sections sadly but hopefully, with the use of pictures I'll be able to help clear things up a little as well.

Things To Look For

1. When choosing who your leader is (leader as in who you should follow and pay attention to, not necessarily the one the rest of the group will follow. They might not like the true leader as much as you do, but trust me, it'll be in your benefit to follow the correct person) you need to first find the best looking person in the group. If it's you, you're in luck.
2. Once you've determined who the best looking person is, take a look at their skills. This doesn't mean who is the best at shooting free throws or something of the like (that bit of information would be most likely available if you were in a haunted house) but who actually knows stuff. Such as, weaponry skills, strategy, and the like. Also don't overlook the working man, mechanic by day, siege master by night. You never know. So, as illustrated below, if you had to choose between the two guys below, it would be better to choose #2, he most likely has more of the skills you're looking for.
   #1, while semi-attractive - really is just too much of a softy - a pretty face and not really much more
   #2, same level of attractiveness - except he is packing a bow and arrow - obviously this guy knows something. Yeah, in every day life he may just be that guy who happens to know about every renaissance festival within 100 miles of your town but when it comes right down to it, he probably knows something about how to fight. He would be a good choice of who to listen to.
   
3. If you happen to be the best looking person in your group and you know something and have semi-useful skills, then congratulations. You may be your own best bet. Don't get too cocky though - as soon as you get an ego, you have a very good chance of getting killed off. So does your leader, make sure that their ego doesn't get too big. If it does, they'll either get killed or something will go wrong and your life will most likely be put in danger.
4. Our next category that you'll want to pay attention to are the geeks and the nerds. While they might not be the best looking ones in your group (save that judgment till the end of your adventure, after you've seen them with their glasses broken, shirts slightly bloody after battle and if they're really the right one and have made it this far, till they have some real confidence and can speak in sentences that don't involve computers, dragons, or comic books) but they will be important to pay attention to. Different places require different kinds of geeks and nerds. So you need to make sure that you pay attention to your surroundings.A) If you're in another world/realm your best bet would be the comic book fantasy nerds. The ones that know all about D&D, have their own set of personalized 20 sided dice, are never seen without graph paper and pencil, and are always more than willing to tell you about their warlock/berserker/mage/paladin/bard/etc. character in their game. They will also be able to quote any section of Lord of the Rings by heart. These nerds will be able to tell you how to use local plants to create potions to cure any wound you might receive, how to tame dragons, identify and battle any mythical creature you may come across.
   B) If you're on a alien planet or being invaded by aliens you're going to want to make sure that your nerd is big into computers, speaks binary, has a poster of Bill Gates, have never owned a red shirt and has always hoped that someday they'll wake up to find their computer to tell them to follow the white rabbit. These nerds will be able to blow up spaceships, infiltrate enemy bases, and reprogram your cell-phone into a ray gun.
5. Females of the party - It's important to choose the right kind of girls to hang out with too. This is where the rules can get kind of tricky. It's true that you still want to look for the better looking ones, but at the same time, you really have to make sure they have brains. Be very very careful in this department. Unless the girl has skills or any real contributing factor to the group, it's probably best to steer clear of them. Now contributing factors can include any of the followingA) Athletic abilities - no not cheerleading, but true skills. If they really can keep up, run, play hard sports and the like they could come in handy. Avoid girls that need to have you taking care of them all the time.
   B) Confidence and Independence - once again this is a fine line. You want the girl to be able to take care of herself but not to be so stubborn as to not be able to accept help. If they're too confident they'll just end up hurting themselves and others. If they're not confident enough, you'll be in the middle of trying to coax them to jump to save their lives and they'll end up dying cause they're too scared and just might kill other party members.
   C) Nerd/Leader Skills - If the girl is good looking (once again, if she is a nerd, you might want to be careful with your good looking judgment) and exhibits the nerd/geek skills or the leadership skills mentioned above then she'll certainly be a worthwhile party member. She might even make a good leader, although 9 times out of 10, a guy will be the leader you're looking for.

Things to Avoid

1. Red shirts. Anybody who is wearing a red shirt, you should avoid. Especially if you're on in space, near space, on an alien planet, or being invaded/attacked by aliens. I believe this photo says it all.
2. Avoid people who are too fidgety and nervous. If they are they'll most likely end up dismembered or worse. If you hang out with them, you'll probably end up with the same fate.
3. Avoid overly violent people. Live by the sword, die by the sword. It's old truthful wisdom.
4. Avoid the ditzy bimbos. Especially if they're in a relationship with the leader, or really in a relationship with anybody else in the group. I mean honestly, if it was a for real alien planet, and this girl was along. With the lack of hollywood directors there to save her, what do you think her chances are of surviving?
5. Just to expound on that last point a little more. Try to avoid all relationship possible when you're on your adventure. To be completely honest if you get into a relationship during the adventure, you've just increased your chances of being killed off by about 30%. That is of course, unless you're one of the leading characters I've mentioned above and your relationship is with one of the other leading characters. Then you've got a higher survival rate.
6. Avoid jocks and jerks; old and young. They may be confident and try to be the leaders of the party from the very start, but trust me, unless they change their ways quickly they'll get killed off in a hurry.

Closing Thoughts...

Now if you're not one of the leading characters that I've mentioned above don't despair. This doesn't mean that you aren't going to make it, it just means that you need to be sure to stick close to and pay attention to one or all of them. Just make sure you're not one of the 'avoid' characters. If you are, be sure to try and change it as quickly as possible to increase your chances of survival. Well friends now it's open for questions. If you have any specific questions that you would like answered about survival just ask and I'll be sure to answer, but this is the last installment for me.